Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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