so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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