Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
