so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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