ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
