kristin has been a bad kristin
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
