he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
