i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
