I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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