Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
