Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
