I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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