Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
