Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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