He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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