There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
