it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
