You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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