I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
