Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
