she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
