She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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