That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
