Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
