There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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