R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize