i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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