You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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