2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
