brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
