At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
