Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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