Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
