i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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