it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
