You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize