Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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