K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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