I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he high fived his dick after we had sex
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
