Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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