I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
