it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
