Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
