you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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