Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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