I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
