just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
