will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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