I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize