I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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