You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
