Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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