I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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