Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
