i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
