i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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