My cat gives me a boner
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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