so explain again why im purple
no
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
