It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
