...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
