moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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