you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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