Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
